The circle of head v food

Dear Reader, 
My name is Zoe and I’m a fat lass.. now I haven’t always been this way.. I been putting on weight over the last 8 years and this is solely my eating habits. I use food for comfort. Mainly ‘in that moment’ where emotions take over and I become all cooker monster and just stuff my face to try and make myself feel ‘comforted’. Whether it be drive to the nearest drive through, a drive to the nearest shop for a large amount of chocolate, or whatever floats your eating boat - the instant gratification is amazing - but then comes the realisation that you’ve eaten a lot of food and neither do you enjoy it and you feel immense guilt for the food you’ve eaten. You’ve an empty wallet and just feel physically awful. Just me then? Ok. 
Over the years my weight has gone up and up to a point now that I’ve damaged my physical health. It can be whatever stresses you are feeling in life. 
Most recently for me, I went for a job interview for a job I was already doing, but didn’t get it as I ‘wasn’t good enough’ and someone else was brought in with who didn’t work in the department. My feedback was from 2 errors that I had made 5 months prior, but when speaking to my colleagues, they had made the same mistakes when they had first started. 
Needless to say, this made me feel like absolute shit. 
I became tearful at work and at home as I didn’t feel good enough. After most shifts, I would go to a drive through or a shop and eat before I got home. My weight went up again.
That was two months ago. Now I have sought support with a NHS Eating Disorder service to help over come my dependence on using food as a solace for stress. 


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