Fat lass gives it her best

Dear Reader,  From a young age, I always sought solace in food. My earliest food memory was climbing the food cupboards when I should have been bed, reaching for a Kit Kat. But I was slim until I was about 18. However,  over the years my weight fluctuated. In 2010, my sister was getting married and I lost weight as I didn’t want to be the ‘fat sister’. However, since then it’s sky rocketed.  This is my experience - With me, food was always a go to for comfort. Comfort - well I say comfort.. more ‘stuff my face until I feel a bit better’.. then comes the guilt. The massively huge metaphoric baseball bat that I mentally beat myself up with. Why have I done this to myself? What’s wrong with me? Etc. Nothing makes you feel really good about yourself than firstly getting deep fried luke-warm food in a bag, thrown at you by a 16 year old on a YTS scheme (old) and then eating said food in a car park next to an over flowing bin. (Yes folks I am that classy)  My solace in see...

Do you ever find that when you embark on a healthy lifestyle you suddenly think ‘I need all the latest gadgets? Trainers? Gym gear?’ Do you go into sports direct to look at all the trainers and not have a clue about what you need; before you either get approached by a shop worker who scored 10/10 on their selling stuff / customer service course? who is overly polite and you listen to their recommendations before thanking them and then buggering off to get a pair of black trainers because you like the look of them. Or you approach the bored looking sales assistant who really couldn’t give a shit and is only there due to his mum telling him to get a job, before again deciding that actually the trusty looking black pair you liked will do. (And asking the customer service lass at the tills to add the NHS blue light discount)  Then looking at the active wear.. all Lycra and spandex, but as a fat lass, reaching the realisation that I would look like the Michelin man and then opting for t...

Dear Reader,  Exercise. A concept to me a while ago that was a scary prospect. I thought I’d have to don the old spandex and to go the gym and look like I was about to have a cardiac on the treadmill whilst skinny mini gym bunnies with a face full of make up running like mad, not even breaking a sweat. Yet, me, well if I went to a gym with a face full of make up, I would come out looking like Alice Cooper.  But then the idea of a gym fills me with absolute horror. So then what does a fat lass like me do to exercise? Well, I dusted off the old trainers, downloaded a walking app (map my walk) and off I went - in the local area. Donned my air pods, listened to Chris Moyles podcast and before I knew it, I had walked (normally) not briskly or power walking as I look like I had a pole up my arris - I had walked 10,000 steps and felt pretty good about it. I had walked 5 miles. The benefits? Fresh air, felt a bit more positive mentally and I’d burnt 435 calories. Oh and it was free....

Well hello there and welcome to my new blog. Before you get all nice and comfy, let me explain the purpose of my writing. Firstly, I am a lass of the larger persuasion. Now there is nothing wrong with being larger lass if it makes you happy. But I am not. Being large makes me miserable. I refuse to be in photos, I wince when I try clothes on in shops and because of bastard corona, when I go to work I have to wear scrubs (work for the wonderful NHS) and every shift I am fed up of playing ‘guess which XXL pair of scrubs will actually go over my arse’. Now, I have not always been big. Growing up, I was always slim. But I’ve always used food as a way of coping with the emotional / stressful side of life. So much so that now in my late thirties, it’s taken it’s toll. I have always struggled with my relationship with food. Some in the medical profession, even described me as having Binge eating disorder. I have also sought help for my relationship with food with the lovely people at B.eat (e...